June 11th, 2006 and I have had an amazing day with my son! My mom and I went to the hospital in the early afternoon to find him still on the good respirator. (I say the good one because I HATE the vibrating one!) He looks so good, color, movement, stats.

He's finished his second round of endocin, though they want to give him a "tail end" dose just to make sure it's closed. Should the PDA reopen again, they'll have to wait till he's VERY stable and give him the surgery. That slightly scares me. He tends to go "unstable" when the PDA is open. What if he doesn't stablize if it reopens? Thinking of all these things and worrying this much is bound to drive people insane.

Just to keep my sanity... the nurse on today tells me to change his diaper and take his temperature. I slightly panic. Although I've helped change a diaper, I've never done it myself. He's so small and squirmy. How the hell am I gonna do this. Taking his temperature is a walk in the park- lift arm, place thermometer in armpit, close arm... hold. The diaper was something else. I unfasten the dirty diaper but leave it on just incase he feels like peeing again. (He has a habit of that!) I unfold the clean diaper and put it close by. Now Beau feels like stretching. Now contracting. You've got to be kidding me. Finally I figure it out, wipe him clean, then replace the diaper. I'm so proud of myself! Quite the milestone for both of us.