June 8th, 2006 and I'm getting scared for Beau. They won't let me hold him. His PDA has opened again and they have to keep increasing his oxygen to compensate. They talk about switching respirators to one that delivers 900 breaths a minute to increase the oxygen in his blood. They want to give him a second round of endocin to close the duct. They've stopped giving him my milk until he can stabilize again. They've got a plan of action for seemingly every possibility. I'm bummed driving home, but still okay. I feel like he's in good hands and they'll take care of him.