August 12th, 2006. I know I haven't written for a while.... okay a long while. But I did it with the best of intentions. For my whole life, fate has been tempted by me with everything I say.. so I chose not to jinx Beau's wonderful progress thus far. Now that he's been rock stable and progressing for the last few days I feel it's safe to talk about it.

Beau was moved from the ICU to the intermediate room of the NICU. He's been switched to low flow nasal canula and has been doing well on it since Tuesday. Yesterday we finally got to try breast feeding him and we'll keep up with that daily and try to get him to build up more stamina. He did well though. He took a few drops and suckled a bit, but fell asleep twice. We're planning on trying him with a bottle as soon as he's wide awake enough during the feeding time. He definitely wants it. He's been doing really well taking drops or more of milk directly into his mouth. We usually put his pacifier directly into his mouth afterwards to teach him that milk comes out of the nipple. He's doing great with that. He loves to eat. He's started getting fussy about 45 minutes before a feed and sucks greedily on his pacifier.

Everyone in the NICU is now starting to talk about when Beau comes home. I know it's less than 6 weeks away and 6 weeks is plenty of time for him to outgrow his spells and learn to fully drink from a bottle, but I'm definitly worried. I'm scared he won't outgrow his spells. I know with patience and pratice he'll eventually take to a bottle without a problem and I know he's growing like a weed now- but those spells SUCK! I hate them. Granted he can pull himself out of some of them without anyone's help, but they are still scary when they've turned up his oxygen and rubbed his back and his heartbeat is still low.

I'm starting to feel really rushed and unprepared. We're having meet-and-greets with a few local pediatricians to choose his primary. Sometimes the hospital makes me feel like we should have done that weeks ago. We're trying to get his room together and I feel all over the place with that. His crib is on delivery and should be here by the 5th. We're trying to sort out the changing table. I just ordered the video monitor yesterday and that should be here within two weeks. I know we're on the right track... but I haven't a clue what's going on and I feel scattered.

In the mean time the hospital has set criteria for Beau to go home and also a spell count. He's currently 4 lbs 8 ounces and needs to gain 8 more ounces to go home. He also needs to stop having spells for 5 straight days and learn to drink from a bottle. Please everyone pray for him. I pray to God that he won't have those spells anymore. He's got less than 6 weeks left until his due date and I'd really like to take my little boy home at that point, so please everyone, pray for him. I really think prayers produce miracles.