June 15th, 2006 and I think I spoke too soon about that damn PDA!! Tonight his nurse heard a murmur. They're not sure if it's from his low blood or the PDA. Tomorrow he's getting a blood transfusion and an ultrasound to see which it is. If the PDA is open he'll go to surgery immediately. One way or another, it looks like we'll find out tomorrow. I'm not scared or too worried about him having the surgery. I just want it closed so his body can do what it needs to do. He goes downhill so fast when it's open. I want it over with and sealed permanently for his health- not so I can sleep better.

On a happier note... Mr. Beau Jacob has decided to open his eyes!!! He's so cute!!! He's so responsive and already trying to use them to see who's talking. ANNNND... he blinked when Neill took a picture of him, so we know they're developing just fine so far.

It's amazing the things you take for granted when you've had limited exposure to premature babies. You just assume things are fine. I know I'd have taken him for granted would he have been full term. I wouldn't be so excited about him blinking or responding to my voice or even living day to day. I wouldn't look forward to changing his diaper or cleaning his mouth. Although it's not the most ideal situation, I've learned the value of my son and just how precious life is. How strong his little spirit is, how much I love him. I don't think I'll ever take him for granted.