September 13th, 2006. So far so good with Beau. He has an eye test today. Tomorow he'll have another barium swallow study. I'm happy I'll be able to be there with him for this one. I missed the first one last week because I had a cold. I missed him so much the two days I couldn't come in! Should he coordinate himself during this study (which he probably won't), they'll probably put him on thicker milk and try bottling again. Should he not coordinate himself this time (which will probably be the case) then they'll want to wait another week or two before testing again. The worst part is knowing there's nothing I can do to help him with this. He's all on his own. I pray to God everyday. I ask him to help my little boy. I ask him to help him coordinate himself. I ask him to show him what to do.

Now we're really starting to see his personality come through. He's not interested in lying in his crib. He wants to be held or sat up. He's also becoming less interested in lying in the crook of my arm and would rather be upright against my chest. He's so funny. He pushes himself up and looks all around before cuddling into me. It's so sweet to feel your child cuddle you and love you back. He's absolutely amazing. I have a feeling we won't get much use out of his crib once he comes home. I'm sure I'll be using the sling rider a lot more than I planned to.