May 29th, 8 am and I think my water just broke. I panic. It's too soon. I can't think straight. This can't be happening. Please God don't let this be happening. I call the doctor then yell for my mom. She helps me to the bed and puts my feet up. The doctor calls back, "Come see me at Parkland. Second floor." I stop panicing, mom is terrified. I'm telling myself that they can stop it. They can give me a drug or stitch shut my cervix. They have to be able to stop this.

At Parkland I'm told to put on a gurney, take off everything. The doctor needs to examine me. The nurse takes a sample from my pad to make sure it's really amniotic fluid. Doctor tries to comfort me, maybe it's urine. I hear the nurse tell the doctor it tests positive for amniotic fluid. He's still trying to comfort me. He examines me, takes a sample, tests it, comes back negative for amniotic fluid. I know he's wrong. He wants to test it again just to be sure. Tells me to cough, collects from the speculum. It comes back positive. I get a shot of steriods for the baby's lungs.

He sits next to my bed and tells me if the baby's born now there's nothing they can do and will term it a miscarriage. I'm shocked and terrified. This can't be. He's alive! He's been kicking inside of me for weeks now. He's got a good strong heart beat! I saw it on the ultrasound. You can't kill my baby! He's still calm, tells me he is going to call around to other hospitals and try to get me transfered to a place where they can save him. I beg him to save my baby. He warns me that women who've been later that me have been turned away. I'm histerical and mom is powerless. She's crying. This has got to be a dream. He comes back shortly with good news. Brigham and Women's will take us. The ambulance is on its way. I'm calming, there's a chance.

The ambulance takes forever. I hate the sad looks I get from all around. I'm cramping lightly. I'm scared and trying to stay calm for the baby. The ride takes forever. I'm alone with a girl who keeps yawning and a guy head down into his laptop. I'd never been so happy to see a hospital in my life.

Inside I'm taken to my room. Doctor's and nurses come in and out. They tell me what's going on, they're kind and patient. They explain everything, good and bad. They tell me what to expect. I'm comforted and calm. Mom and Dad arrive. They are a complete mess. Somehow we get ahold of Neill and I try to explain what's happening. He's scared. He can't get to me. He's so helpless, we all are. He calls through the day and I look forward to each and every one.

I have to be checked regularly for an infection. I'm given magnesium to stop the cramping/contractions. My white blood cell counts jump and I'm taken off the magnesium. At midnight I'm given an epidural and I can finally sleep.